While the big news of the day is that Chelsea is free to go after a fifty year old child manager of the utmost ability, it’s backup keeper Ross Turnbull’s son Josh who is stealing the show. After the final match there were some festivities on the pitch. Josh didn’t care. All the boy wants it to score goals. Kid’s got a future.

Obligatory joke on superior finishing to Fernando Torres here.

The Munich Philharmonic penned this little aria for their boys heading to England for the grandest match of the year on Saturday. Bounding around Google has surfaced nothing in the way of an English translation for the lyrics, but it’s worth it simply to watch someone work ‘Heynckes’ into a song.

(It is entirely possible some of this was ’sampled’. Maybe…)

During this evening’s Copa del Rey final, won by Atletico Madrid in extra time at the Bernabeu (big win, that one), Jose Mourinho and Cristiano Ronaldo were both sent off. The latter was unjustified, though Cristiano probably could’ve been sent off for kicking Juanfran off the ball earlier, and there’s no way to know what Jose actually said. But he does an incredibly angry, “Who? Me?”

The Ronaldo red then sparked a small brawl, which offers us a reminder: every cup final should be a derby.

This might be better than the Champions League final itself. Heineken decided to run a gag where if a guy could get his girl to go along with buying stadium seats for $1899, he would win tickets to the final in London. One man actually rose above the odds – and they were steep odds – and won the tickets.

But what they don’t tell us is whether or not they actually had to buy the seats at that price. Or buy the seats in general. Because that’s horrible.

[101gg]

The people who whip up these fancy second-tier finals (UEFA. They’re called UEFA.) concocted a nice little PR thingamajig by pairing one fan from Benfica and one fan from Chelsea with a top notch freestyler in a race through Amsterdam to the Arena. They would hope to determine a winner through various stuns and what-nots.

So if this is any indication, Chelsea will show up shockingly out of shape and Benfica will win.

Just days after the club granted a young boy with cancer his Make-A-Wish wish a friendly against the senior side, the fans of the Portland came up with a choreograph. Only it’s not your typical collective – this one was for gay tolerance, fresh on the heels of the spate (yes, two is a spate in this respect) of outings in professional sports.

Or maybe it was for rainbows. Because rainbows are pretty.

The Moldovan first division. An eighteen year-old kid named Radu Mitu making his professional debut. This happens.

It’s like watching a three-legged dog fall to the back of the pack as it tries to run a race. The wind took it. Just…the wind took it.

Hopefully Radu has a great sense of humor.

Leonardo, the PSG director not the Ninja Turtle, isn’t exactly having a fine few weeks. After Thiago Silva was sent off for lightly placing his hands on the referee last week, Leonardo decided it would be a smart idea to bump the referee in the tunnel. This may result in a suspension or worse, a points deduction for PSG.

Then he was tasked with telling Zlatan Ibrahimovic, cotton candy personality that he is, to leave the title celebrations for anti-doping testing. That was enjoyable, surely. Leonardo then landed in the hospital after collapsing in what seems to be an unrelated incident. Fortunately, he’s fine now.

But don’t mess with Zlatan.

This begins as the worst sitter-miss you’ve ever seen, then becomes the worst pitch you’ve ever seen, and then you take the VHS out of the VCR and wonder what time machine this video from 1987 just arrived from.

Actually it’s this weekend and it’s Willian Ribeiro of Campinense who became the victim of poor landscaping, groundskeeping, or some gnome beneath the pitch punching at the grass at opportune times.

Warning: (Most likely) NSFW.

Of all the footballers to get a song…Kevin Constant. And not a terrace song which involves three lines and rhyming striker with pterodactyl. Proper song. Sort of. His name’s Don Rik. It’s an Italian rap. And it involves a lot of lyrics about Kevin Constant, as well as other footballers. And a scantily clad girl who might be playing dead because some dude just broke into her bedroom and starting rapping to a camera. Plus Constant makes a cameo early in the video, and he appears to be talking.

Amateur lip reading says: “Who is this guy? Why is he standing near me? What is this terrible song behind me? Who had a stroke and gave him that hair? What the hell is going on?”