Radamel might’ve made the big money move to the Principality, but he’s still only the second best Falcao with a ball at his feet this side of Jupiter – it’s anyone’s guess from there. The Other Falcao, the futsal edition, is still going strong and probably the only somewhat known name for the fan of the grass variety rather than, “Hey, let’s cancel gym class today.”

This assist is why. ‘Tis a shame he never got to showcase those skills to a broader audience.

And she is very, very hospitable. Or welcoming. A quick Google will reveal…well it will reveal a lot. Such as Claudia is a very big fan of duck face, wet t-shirts, and more duck face. She’s not a fan of clothing. This means she’s like nearly every other Italian showgirl linked with football in some respect. So to honor the incoming Rafa, she had a scene featuring the Spaniard dueling the club’s symbol drawn on her naked body. I think there are mountains, too. Yes. Definitely mountains.

NSFW after the jump.

If you’ve been paying attention to the pandemonium in Brazil, you might notice this football-mad country is pretty damn mad about some football, namely the World Cup (the Rio Olympics aren’t helping either). Basically, just like everyone else who throws a big party, they’re not happy with the costs and all the having to clean up afterwards while the husband naps in his chair. Or something like that. This video from a girl named Carla Dauden has been making the rounds too and it’s an excellent summation of the problems plaguing Brazil and the reason for the news you’ve been reading of late, done so in a manner easily understood by all. Will it change anything? Unlikely, but it’s something.

Football is – sport in general, really – a great place for some creative hyperbole. “He shot it to the moon!” Well no, not really. “The defender has him in his back pocket.” Diego Buonanotte or Maximiliano Moralez perhaps, but no one else. Today, we have a new one: “Boy, they were really raided by Romanian forces today.” Except this one’s legit. Eastern European football, man.

Given Lecce has spent recent times bouncing between Serie A and Serie B, the dungeons of Italian football, where they were placed for doing all sorts of scandalous Italian things, aren’t quite acceptable. The fans let their displeasure be known after failing in the playoffs for promotion back to Serie B. Not only did they storm the pitch, but then went into riot mode, even attacking the stewards.

Watch watch them relegated yet again. Damage control apparently doesn’t translate into Italian.

Call it a week, call it a month, call it a summer. The battle is over.

“Can I just stay here with you?”

“Definitely not.”

One needn’t have paid the slightest attention to Sebastien Squillaci’s time at Arsenal to find the genius in this video. Every club should have one.

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The Guardian has gone and shaken some salt into several open wounds by unveiling the twenty worst sitter misses of 2012-13. There are some solid names on the list, including Barcelona’s fresh new 50m+ signing, and they don’t discriminate based on gender, either, with Nicoletta den Ridder is a solid bet for the podium. Everyone’s worst individual day of the year, all for your enjoyment. Aren’t they wonderful.

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Ketchup and mustard kits aside (no corner taken on color richness), this little clip from Aruba has so much going for it. From the mere fact it’s a goalkeeper goal, to the Marco Tardelli-esque celebration of unadultered joy and childlike innocent, to the complete meltdown at the end by the ‘keeper who looks like he knows a thing or two about ketchup and mustard. Who knew football in Aruba has something going for it?

Watching sports interviews, no matter the sport, is like watching a cheating husband attempt to deflect questions. The actual question is answered roughly three percent of the time. Brendan Rodgers somehow manages to do the same when it’s a 9 year old firing the hard-hitters his way. Almost as though they’re all programmed and a button is hit before being sent into the interview room and are incapable of doing anything else. Just answer the questions, guys and gals.

Question of the year comes when the kid asks if he can bring Jaime Carragher back. Idea of the year would be several cameras trained on this kid’s face as he attempts to interview Jaime. Is that child abuse? Probably.

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Football has a bit of a reputation for a little bit of liar, liar, pants on fire when it comes to the injuries. Javier Mascherano has boosted that several levels. Beyond kicking another dude in the back while being taken off for an injury, he then hopped off the stretcher and proceeded to stomp around all menacingly while people attempted to calm him down. Perhaps the stretcher portion is a rule, but you’d be forgiven for wanting to take a break from the sport for a few days.